back to my old self...

my oh my, i'm definitely my old self again. i've somehow regained the eagerness for work and i can now see myself smiling and even laughing my heart out most of the time. i guess that's how life should be. you have to pick yourself up everytime you fall, or else nobody will.

as for career news, i declined an offer for a same position from a smaller publishing house. my goodness, they're offering me the same compensation as i am presently receiving. that's insane!!! i'm not that stupid to leave my job, start from scratch, and earn exactly the same. maybe next time i'll get a nicer offer, one that will put importance on my work experiences and educational attainment.

i've also done some freelance writing. i can't wait to see my articles in print!!!

what else? of course i did some shopping (bargaining ought to be the exact term, lol!) and movie watchin' with my good friend, mitch.

last month, as she requested, we saw NARNIA. the visual effects were spectacular and definitely a must-see for the young ones and those pretending to be young still, harhar!!!

a week ago, still with mitch, we went to market! market! to see the much talked about film, BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN. i really love this film! i am open to understanding such relationships. i have nothing against gays and lesbians and my stand is that we let them be themselves. a few weeks ago, even known priest, Fr. Caluag of De La Salle, said that we ought to give them respect for they deserve it like normal people do. but what i liked the most was when he said that we should separate the sexual aspect from how we see them as a person for when we start to think such, there goes the problem! we tend to associate the third sex with lustful intents and the like.

last night, i rented a copy of THE PERFECT MATCH (also known as FEVER PITCH). hey debs, i love it to the max! from this film, i was able to define the word COMPROMISE. For me, compromise is when you learn to sacrifice something for your one true love without having to lose yourself eventually. i love jimmy fallon's character in the film for he's so adorable. drew barrymore, as always, delighted me with her simple yet funny antics.

that's all for now, folks. and as promised to doren, no more mushy posts for me. maybe sometimes, for i can't help myself everytime i receive something worth sharing!

BLAME IT ON THE LOVE MONTH

Because it's February already, I have been receiving lots of love messages lately, this one the latest among them (received this last Wednesday). I can say that this is one of my favorites. As I was reading it for the first time, the song JUST FEEL BETTER by Santana featuring Steven Tyler, suddenly played on the radio.

Tell me what to do
You know i can't see through the haze around me
And I'll do anything to just feel better
I can't find my way
God, I need a change
And I'll do anything to just feel better
Any little thing to just feel better.

Oh well, it seems everyone and everything is calling on me to move on. I must try though it's hard. As i always say, "NO CHOICE BUT TO ACCEPT REALITY!"

Anyway, here it goes:

THE ESSENCE OF TRUE LOVE

If you're afraid to love a person because of friendship, then you have choices, either to tell what you feel and let the love take place forever, or to hide the feeling under a friendship full of
pretensions.

Sometimes I would ask myself, What would make me happy?
to think that I have everything else, I get what I want... then I realized it was YOU, too bad co'z it's you I can't have... love can never be so beautiful without friendship... one leads to another and the process is irreversible... the best of lovers are the greatest of friends!!!

Love doesn't have to have a happy ending, because love doesn't have to end at all. A man realized he wanted his love back not wanting to be hurt again. The girl said "no." The man cried out
to God, "if it was meant to be, why did I lose her?" God replied, "you didn't lose her... you let her go!" When you love someone, don't expect that person to love you back the same amount. One of you will be ahead, the other behind. It's either you catch up or the other waits.
 
THINK OF THIS:

Have you really cared for someone more than you expected? Have you ever tried to love him in spite of all the pain? Will you keep on loving him as he whispers someone else's name? Will you?

True love hears what is not spoken, and understands what is not explained, for love doesn't work in the mouth, nor the mind, but in the heart...

When you love, you must not accept anything in return, for if you do, you're not loving but investing. if you love, you must prepare to accept pain, for if you expect happiness, you're not loving but using...

I like you because you're my friend, and because you are my friend I care, and because I care, I love you, I don't love you because you are my friend, I love you because I do!
 

WHAT IF SOMEONE TELLS YOU THIS:

"Don't believe in courtship. It's just a waste of time. If I love a person, I'll tell her right away, but for you I'll make an exception... just love me now, and I'll court you forever!"

Never be afraid to fall in love. It may hurt a lot, it may give you aches and pains, but if you don't follow your heart, in the end you will cry even more for not giving love a chance.

I'm sorry if you can't love me the way you loved the one before me, so I'll let you go to find her and hope someday you'll see that the one true love you're looking for was the one who set you free...

Ain't it funny we're trying to catch the attention of the one we think we love? We hardly notice the one we're really looking for was just there. We don't notice them 'till they are in the arms of someone else...

Love is like standing on wet cement, the longer you stay the harder it is to leave... and you can never go without leaving your prints behind...
 

FOOD FOR THOUGHT:

It's better to lose your pride with someone you love rather than lose that someone you love with your useless pride.

I can't choose who I'm going to love, but I also can't just love who chooses to love me... and you can't blame me in choosing to love you as much as I can't blame you for not learning to love me.

"How can I say goodbye to someone i never had?
Why do tears fall for someone who was never mine?
Why is that I miss someone I was never with and I ask why love someone who's love was never mine?"

It's hard for two people to love each other when they live in two different worlds... but when these two worlds collide and become one, that's what you call.............. magic!

Don't love a person like a flower, because a flower dies in season. Love them like a river because a river flows forever...

"Love may leave your heart like shattered glass, but keep in mind that there's someone who'll be willing to endure the pain of picking up the pieces so you could be whole again."

The most cruel thing a guy could do to a girl is to let her fall in love when he doesn't intend to catch her fall! (and vice versa!)

"Work like you don't need the money, Love like you've never been hurt, Dance like you do, when nobody is watching..."


Flash! Flash! Flash!

I can proudly say that I have let go and moved on! I'm sooo relieved! The road to recovery was way too difficult but I survived. Thanks to my friends' advice and of course, thank you Lord for always being there. I am so blessed!

emotional whirlwind

The past weeks have been an emotional whirlwind for me. Yet I try very hard to pull myself through the day and I guess I'm quite successful in surviving the days that pass me by. It isn't easy pushing myself to the limit when in fact I'm hurting inside. But all of these I assume would give me lessons to reflect on in the future.

Last Sunday, I found out that the position I applied for is already filled and at that very moment I thought my world would crumble right in front of my face. I tried to assess how I felt that time, and though I am very much disappointed that I didn't make it, I found myself not shedding even a single tear which I believe is a very good sign. My friends comforted me by saying that I am indeed overqualified for the said position and I believe them. But what hurts me the most is the fact that I was counting on that opportunity to bail me out of my present company so that I could learn to finally let go and move on with my life.

Yesterday, I received this very touching message from an unknown author. It almost made me cry instantly yet I decided to keep my composure. It now made sense that somewhere out there, someone feels the same as I do or experiences the pain that I am currently feeling.

I'd like to share this piece (my edited version) for it has helped bring back the sanity in me (honestly!). I must admit that I'm still not doing well and I am still hoping everything would return to the way it used to be. Yet after all that have been said and done, I'm afraid it never will. But I can always try to be nice and accept the reality that people can hurt us sometimes, but that hurt heals... eventually!

Falling In Love: Is It Worth It?
All people have at one point in their life experienced the painful realization of a love unrequited. Even with all the discouragement, even with all the well-intentioned advice from friends, falling in love is a no-going-back event. Unfortunately, time can't be reversed.
Now, people around you doubt falling in love in itself. They cannot feel the warmth that consumes you. They cannot ache with the turbulent and confusing anxiety and joy that grips you. They do not know the mental stress you experience trying to rationalize your emotions. They cannot believe that you do not want to be in love with a person who doesn't love you back.
Loving and loving without getting any response can be destructive to anyone. It is a thousand deaths every time. It's an "unmourned" for death because no one else can understand.
Love is not sustained by hope but by wishes. There's a difference. No matter how perverse, people suffering from unrequited love try to get out of it while secretly wishing that he'd give a sign to show it isn't hopeless. In desperation, unrequited lovers can even imagine signs if only to remain sane.
How can you love a brick wall? A dead end? Slavery without any sign of salvation? How foolish! How unreasonable! Unfortunately, how human too!
"Why won't he love me? What is wrong with me?" scattered thoughts echoing such pain are not exactly abnormal. Even the best-looking, best-hearted people can't always expect others to love them back. Why? People sometimes need to feel unloved by everyone so that they learn to love themselves.
There is nothing wrong with unrequited love. It happens all the time. I wont delude you into thinking that if he can't love you back he is not worth it. In fact, believe that he is. He is worth it all: the headaches, the anxiety, the embarrassment. He is worth it because, like you, he needs others loving him. This sounds funny but the world is round for a reason. We are all part of a circle. If you love him and he loves someone else, just think of whom you're hurting by loving him. It's a cycle. Whose love are you not returning?
Give yourself a chance to be in love again. Maybe you’re just too scared. Or perhaps, maybe because you had been waiting for a perfect moment, a perfect someone, and a perfect me. Maybe because you had always felt that beliefs ought to be perfect---ideal, so to speak ugh!
At the end of the day, when all is said and done, loving without being loved back is the best thing to do because feeling so much pain, you learn to heal; knowing so much fear, you learn to stand up to anything; carrying so much sadness, you learn to glorify in joy.
Lastly, this may be a cliché but there is someone who is right for you, and even if he's not, he'd still be right because loving doesn't make sense until you accept it and make it real.

"No one can ever promise you they will never hurt you, because at one time or another it will happen. The real promise is if the time you spent together will be worth the pain in the end..."