Yes, there was a time when my feelings for him were overflowing; it's actually way beyond my grasp. But that was before. My glass is now half empty, a clear indication that i'm almost close to "recovery". It would take a huge amount of effort on my part, that I'm certain of. But I'm taking things as it is, although I seem to be losing my mojo sometimes.
My favorite series of the moment, Grey's Anatomy, has really helped me make it through this tough time of my life. I have quoted some of my favorite lines from the marathon I watched over the weekend:
"Hope pain goes away on its own; that it heals from the wound that caused it."
"Most of the time pain gets managed, but most of the time pain gets you! Fight through, outrun it!"
"Love, like life, is like making choices and fate has nothing to do with it."
"Not knowing is the worst feeling in the world."
I would have told this guy what Dr. Meredith Grey told Dr. Derek Shepherd: "Pick me, choose me, love me." But who the hell am I in his life anyway? I don't even know where I stand right now.
I'm currently doing the best I can with what is left. How I wish I could speed up the process but that is obviously impossible. I guess moving out is the only way to move on. And I hope I could do that soon...
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