When someone returns to your life, albeit unexpectedly, it's like an extra icing on your cake. That's how I felt at the latter part of 2006 up to April this year. It was casual and just the way I need it to be. There was no intention on my part to rush things between us. However, like his quick return, it came to a point when his messages just stopped coming. There's still a way for him to communicate, that I'm sure of. Whatever his reason/s might be, I honor that. I just feel like I failed to do my part. I should have told him how much I adore him and that I want him to be a part of my life; that after all these years, I have kept a special place in my heart for him. Yet if it's God's will that we ought to stay this way, I accept my fate. Someday, I know in my heart, that my guy will come.
In June, a few days after my 28th birthday, I was diagnosed with cervical spondylosis, a condition I have to bear for the rest of my life. Since surgery is not an option (being a delicate procedure according to my doctor), I will have to content myself with muscle relaxants. I've also stopped my consultaions for I'm feeling better already. Plus, my annual check-up went well, yielding negative results for all tests. I just pray that my health remains okay in the years to come.
In August, after his nearly three years of battle with several complications, my dad succumbed to his illness and joined our Creator. I've prepared myself for that already. It pains me to see his body deteriorating every day. But he was able to open up doors for us. Wherever he may be right now, I know he's happy.
As for my career, it's been one heck of a ride. At some point, I felt like giving up. I've shed so many tears and I thought I have very limited reasons to stay. I'm hanging on though. I still believe there are better things to come my way (in the outside world, that is). Amidst everything, I thank God for giving me "real" friends who stood by me in the toughest times of my life. Not that I needed someone to defend me, but their mere support was enough to keep me going.
Moreover, I'm glad to have had some freelance assignments lately. They keep my thoughts away from the usual stress that my current situation at work gives me.
Lastly, I am very grateful for newfound friends from GT. They lighten up my load and keep me company when I'm down. Some GT threads even helped me not to doze off (LOL!) at work during the day, which is good I should say.
All in all, I've had very rocky moments this year. But I'm welcoming 2008 with a smile in my heart. As they say, "Hope springs eternal..."
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