STILL GRAPPLING

All right! I said I would stop flirting with him, but I guess I'm just human. It's tough avoiding him, especially since we're too close not to have a conversation at all.

Yesterday, I received an "eye opener" text message from a friend. It tells of Plato being asked by his student on what love is all about. He then instructed his student to go to the wheat field and pick the best leaf he could find. The student returned empty handed, and when asked to explain, he has these words to say: I saw one which was extraordinary, yet I thought I would find a better one along the way. But I found none and it was too late for me to go back. According to Plato, that's love!

Tsk,tsk,tsk! Call me overconfident or whatever. I'm not saying I'm a better choice but it should be evident by now how much I like him. When I received the message yesterday, there was this feeling inside me that told me to go ahead and open up. I'm not that close to the sender of the message but she was kind enough to understand my situation. I told her how much I wanted to forward the same message to him, for him to realize what he's been missing. My friend then asked me if it's indeed a mutual thing and I told her I believe it is. Gut feel is a very strong emotion, especially with women. I actually heard that from him when he asked me a few months ago about a supposed secret that I know that he wasn't so sure of. And when I asked him how he knew about it, he said "gut feel". If I'm wrong, then I wouldn't have been right all this time.

And to make matters more "exciting', I sent him a message yesterday saying good luck on his future "dates". He replied there would be no more dates for him, especially because he's been placed on the spotlight lately because of it. I honestly don't believe him, but deep inside my heart I am hoping he's telling the truth.

How am I now? I still am grappling with this feeling I have for him. I like him, but he likes someone else! Somehow, it is one of the greatest ironies of life and love. It's just so unfortunate for me...