the night i breakdown and cry

it was wednesday night when he admitted to me that he's dating someone i know; the one we've all been buzzing about for quite some time. i didn't force him whatsoever, it just flowed from our conversation. at that moment, i felt like an arrow just shot through my heart! i cried and i'm not afraid to say it. yes, you can't make someone love you! and i shouldn't have assumed and expected in the first place. i know he cares for me, but that's just about it, nothing more. love is indeed misleading, yet we can't help ourselves sometimes. and inasmuch as i'd like to avoid him, for the closer we get the more i fall for him, i believe i mustn't. first, he might think that all this time my kindness to him was just a mere front act to cover my feelings, when in fact the feelings were just a product of our closeness. and second, i'm afraid to lose the friendship. i'm at a loss right now.  the letter read yesterday by joe d'mango over at wave 89.1 even made the matter complicated. here's my favorite part: "why would he let me fall for him when he has no intentions of catching me?" sometimes life is really that unfair, and a one-sided affection is common to most people. i know it would take me some time before i could finally let go. lately i don't know how many times i've played the song have you ever (brandy) on my itunes. true, i'd love to tell him how I feel, but i don't know if i'll ever muster the courage to do so. you know how guys get frightened by such revelations! as for now, i'm trying to be strong; staying miserable won't do me any good. after all, there's always sunshine after the rain, and a light at the end of the tunnel...