the idiosyncrasies of the system

i haven't been posting lately for honestly i feel disturbed. it's not that type of paranoia where i have to be dragged to an "institution" for rehabilitation. NOPE!!!

i feel disturbed because in the afternoon of March 29, i received a "confidential memo" from my company's hr department, complete with a signature from one of the members of the top management, for alleged violation of a certain company rule, more specifically discourtesy to an hr official. they were claiming i used a discourteous language when i dealt with an hr officer 12 days earlier for my returned personnel change form (PCF) despite my supervisor's signed letter of explanation. actually, this wasn't the first time my pcf was returned, and up to this moment, their policies are still not clear to me and most of the associates. insane, you may say, but it happened. i don't know how a simple case could blow right into my face. of course i vehemently denied the accusation. i never uttered any foul language to any of them. i admit i raised my voice a little, but being pissed that i am that time, such behavior is but normal for any individual.
right now, the case is still not closed. i don't even know what their decision is. i feel disturbed because never in my life have i been insulted like this, let alone be the subject of such a huge accusation. i have protected my image in the company, for close to four years, and look where it brought me. i have been a good employee, and people around me can attest to that. all those years, i haven't been given suspension unlike my co-workers (mostly for coming late in the office) and i'm very proud of myself for that.

whatever happens, i'm ready to let go. as i told the girls, i've come to accept my fate, though it breaks my heart that i'm leaving this way. i'm leaving not because i wanted to save myself from shame since i didn't do anything wrong, but to leave some self-esteem for myself.

i'll end my post with a line from julia stiles from the film 10 things i hate about you: "why would i live up to other people's expectation except of myself?"

My latest splurge...

Here are the latest addition to my collection:

A Walk To Remember stars pop star Mandy Moore and Once and Again's Shane West. This film had me wiping my face full of tears in the end. It's definitely a must-see for the sentimental types.

When I first saw Never Been Kissed I didn't enjoy it that much since the copy a friend lent me was somehow third-rate. Now I have all the time to enjoy this Drew Barrymore flick.

The film A Beautiful Mind was something I really waited for way back 2001. When I heard good reviews about it, I immediately searched the web about its plot and the life story of Prof. John Nash, beautifully played by Russel Crowe. I was so disappointed that he lost to Denzel Washington (Training Day) that year, when all Denzel did in that film was scream and fire his gun! Likewise with Halle Berry who bagged that year's Oscar for the film Monster's Ball. I know she's a great actress yet I thought Nicole Kidman was better in Moulin Rouge.

Finally, I now have a copy of American Beauty with another favorite, Kevin Spacey. He's really a natural when it comes to portraying "disturbed" characters - remember Seven, K-PAX, and even in the drama The Shipping News and Pay It Forward.

My last splurge - Girl, Interrupted - stars two great actresses, Winona Ryder and Angelina Jolie. The latter won for that film her first Academy award for lead actress in a supporting role.

Why only now, you might ask? Honestly, I've been eyeing these titles for a year now, and it was only last week that I got them all on sale, yipee!!! And due to a tight budget (as always, LOL!) I wasn't able to buy three more that I really like. These are 50 First Dates, Moulin Rouge, and There's Something About Mary.

And now I have an empty pocket, hehe!!!

CHARLIZE vs REESE

Time flies fast and now the first quarter of the year is almost over. What has happened to me these past few days? Not that much! The Oscars was a dismay for me since I was hoping for Heath Ledger (Brokeback Mountain) and Charlize Theron (North Country) to win. I haven't seen both Walk the Line and North Country in its entirety, but for me Charlize deserves the trophy more. Charlize's film "Monster" was never shown here in the Philippines (and I can't even find a copy of it in any video shop) but I know she acts genuinely and without any effort at all. I guess Reese is now the next big thing in Hollywood! She's like Julia Roberts who was first recognized in the romantic comedy genre. The only difference is that she was younger when she bagged her Oscar's. I loved her in Cruel Intentions, Legally Blonde, Sweet Home Alabama, and recently, in Just Like Heaven.

I saw Must Love Dogs last week. John Cusack is not that appealing to me anymore! He seemed to have gained extra pounds here and everywhere. But Diane Lane looked lovelier, as always. She's indeed a perfect example of the phrase "aging gracefully". As for the story, I find it plain and dull.

I hope could rent "Crash" in the days to come. I really feel sorry that I just passed it by for so many times in the video shop. And now that it won the best picture in the Academy Awards, it really deserves my time.

Next in line: Pride and Prejudice, North Country, and Syriana. The local film "Ang Pagdadalaga ni Maximo Oliveros" has kept me waiting for so long. It was a recipient of numerous international awards and yet the producer has not come out with a DVD format yet. I'm also curious about "Nasaan si Francis?," another local film that got the nods from movie critics lately. These are actually my type of local films, not the teenybopper or slapstick comedies that are unfortunately released often.

back to my old self...

my oh my, i'm definitely my old self again. i've somehow regained the eagerness for work and i can now see myself smiling and even laughing my heart out most of the time. i guess that's how life should be. you have to pick yourself up everytime you fall, or else nobody will.

as for career news, i declined an offer for a same position from a smaller publishing house. my goodness, they're offering me the same compensation as i am presently receiving. that's insane!!! i'm not that stupid to leave my job, start from scratch, and earn exactly the same. maybe next time i'll get a nicer offer, one that will put importance on my work experiences and educational attainment.

i've also done some freelance writing. i can't wait to see my articles in print!!!

what else? of course i did some shopping (bargaining ought to be the exact term, lol!) and movie watchin' with my good friend, mitch.

last month, as she requested, we saw NARNIA. the visual effects were spectacular and definitely a must-see for the young ones and those pretending to be young still, harhar!!!

a week ago, still with mitch, we went to market! market! to see the much talked about film, BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN. i really love this film! i am open to understanding such relationships. i have nothing against gays and lesbians and my stand is that we let them be themselves. a few weeks ago, even known priest, Fr. Caluag of De La Salle, said that we ought to give them respect for they deserve it like normal people do. but what i liked the most was when he said that we should separate the sexual aspect from how we see them as a person for when we start to think such, there goes the problem! we tend to associate the third sex with lustful intents and the like.

last night, i rented a copy of THE PERFECT MATCH (also known as FEVER PITCH). hey debs, i love it to the max! from this film, i was able to define the word COMPROMISE. For me, compromise is when you learn to sacrifice something for your one true love without having to lose yourself eventually. i love jimmy fallon's character in the film for he's so adorable. drew barrymore, as always, delighted me with her simple yet funny antics.

that's all for now, folks. and as promised to doren, no more mushy posts for me. maybe sometimes, for i can't help myself everytime i receive something worth sharing!

BLAME IT ON THE LOVE MONTH

Because it's February already, I have been receiving lots of love messages lately, this one the latest among them (received this last Wednesday). I can say that this is one of my favorites. As I was reading it for the first time, the song JUST FEEL BETTER by Santana featuring Steven Tyler, suddenly played on the radio.

Tell me what to do
You know i can't see through the haze around me
And I'll do anything to just feel better
I can't find my way
God, I need a change
And I'll do anything to just feel better
Any little thing to just feel better.

Oh well, it seems everyone and everything is calling on me to move on. I must try though it's hard. As i always say, "NO CHOICE BUT TO ACCEPT REALITY!"

Anyway, here it goes:

THE ESSENCE OF TRUE LOVE

If you're afraid to love a person because of friendship, then you have choices, either to tell what you feel and let the love take place forever, or to hide the feeling under a friendship full of
pretensions.

Sometimes I would ask myself, What would make me happy?
to think that I have everything else, I get what I want... then I realized it was YOU, too bad co'z it's you I can't have... love can never be so beautiful without friendship... one leads to another and the process is irreversible... the best of lovers are the greatest of friends!!!

Love doesn't have to have a happy ending, because love doesn't have to end at all. A man realized he wanted his love back not wanting to be hurt again. The girl said "no." The man cried out
to God, "if it was meant to be, why did I lose her?" God replied, "you didn't lose her... you let her go!" When you love someone, don't expect that person to love you back the same amount. One of you will be ahead, the other behind. It's either you catch up or the other waits.
 
THINK OF THIS:

Have you really cared for someone more than you expected? Have you ever tried to love him in spite of all the pain? Will you keep on loving him as he whispers someone else's name? Will you?

True love hears what is not spoken, and understands what is not explained, for love doesn't work in the mouth, nor the mind, but in the heart...

When you love, you must not accept anything in return, for if you do, you're not loving but investing. if you love, you must prepare to accept pain, for if you expect happiness, you're not loving but using...

I like you because you're my friend, and because you are my friend I care, and because I care, I love you, I don't love you because you are my friend, I love you because I do!
 

WHAT IF SOMEONE TELLS YOU THIS:

"Don't believe in courtship. It's just a waste of time. If I love a person, I'll tell her right away, but for you I'll make an exception... just love me now, and I'll court you forever!"

Never be afraid to fall in love. It may hurt a lot, it may give you aches and pains, but if you don't follow your heart, in the end you will cry even more for not giving love a chance.

I'm sorry if you can't love me the way you loved the one before me, so I'll let you go to find her and hope someday you'll see that the one true love you're looking for was the one who set you free...

Ain't it funny we're trying to catch the attention of the one we think we love? We hardly notice the one we're really looking for was just there. We don't notice them 'till they are in the arms of someone else...

Love is like standing on wet cement, the longer you stay the harder it is to leave... and you can never go without leaving your prints behind...
 

FOOD FOR THOUGHT:

It's better to lose your pride with someone you love rather than lose that someone you love with your useless pride.

I can't choose who I'm going to love, but I also can't just love who chooses to love me... and you can't blame me in choosing to love you as much as I can't blame you for not learning to love me.

"How can I say goodbye to someone i never had?
Why do tears fall for someone who was never mine?
Why is that I miss someone I was never with and I ask why love someone who's love was never mine?"

It's hard for two people to love each other when they live in two different worlds... but when these two worlds collide and become one, that's what you call.............. magic!

Don't love a person like a flower, because a flower dies in season. Love them like a river because a river flows forever...

"Love may leave your heart like shattered glass, but keep in mind that there's someone who'll be willing to endure the pain of picking up the pieces so you could be whole again."

The most cruel thing a guy could do to a girl is to let her fall in love when he doesn't intend to catch her fall! (and vice versa!)

"Work like you don't need the money, Love like you've never been hurt, Dance like you do, when nobody is watching..."


Flash! Flash! Flash!

I can proudly say that I have let go and moved on! I'm sooo relieved! The road to recovery was way too difficult but I survived. Thanks to my friends' advice and of course, thank you Lord for always being there. I am so blessed!

emotional whirlwind

The past weeks have been an emotional whirlwind for me. Yet I try very hard to pull myself through the day and I guess I'm quite successful in surviving the days that pass me by. It isn't easy pushing myself to the limit when in fact I'm hurting inside. But all of these I assume would give me lessons to reflect on in the future.

Last Sunday, I found out that the position I applied for is already filled and at that very moment I thought my world would crumble right in front of my face. I tried to assess how I felt that time, and though I am very much disappointed that I didn't make it, I found myself not shedding even a single tear which I believe is a very good sign. My friends comforted me by saying that I am indeed overqualified for the said position and I believe them. But what hurts me the most is the fact that I was counting on that opportunity to bail me out of my present company so that I could learn to finally let go and move on with my life.

Yesterday, I received this very touching message from an unknown author. It almost made me cry instantly yet I decided to keep my composure. It now made sense that somewhere out there, someone feels the same as I do or experiences the pain that I am currently feeling.

I'd like to share this piece (my edited version) for it has helped bring back the sanity in me (honestly!). I must admit that I'm still not doing well and I am still hoping everything would return to the way it used to be. Yet after all that have been said and done, I'm afraid it never will. But I can always try to be nice and accept the reality that people can hurt us sometimes, but that hurt heals... eventually!

Falling In Love: Is It Worth It?
All people have at one point in their life experienced the painful realization of a love unrequited. Even with all the discouragement, even with all the well-intentioned advice from friends, falling in love is a no-going-back event. Unfortunately, time can't be reversed.
Now, people around you doubt falling in love in itself. They cannot feel the warmth that consumes you. They cannot ache with the turbulent and confusing anxiety and joy that grips you. They do not know the mental stress you experience trying to rationalize your emotions. They cannot believe that you do not want to be in love with a person who doesn't love you back.
Loving and loving without getting any response can be destructive to anyone. It is a thousand deaths every time. It's an "unmourned" for death because no one else can understand.
Love is not sustained by hope but by wishes. There's a difference. No matter how perverse, people suffering from unrequited love try to get out of it while secretly wishing that he'd give a sign to show it isn't hopeless. In desperation, unrequited lovers can even imagine signs if only to remain sane.
How can you love a brick wall? A dead end? Slavery without any sign of salvation? How foolish! How unreasonable! Unfortunately, how human too!
"Why won't he love me? What is wrong with me?" scattered thoughts echoing such pain are not exactly abnormal. Even the best-looking, best-hearted people can't always expect others to love them back. Why? People sometimes need to feel unloved by everyone so that they learn to love themselves.
There is nothing wrong with unrequited love. It happens all the time. I wont delude you into thinking that if he can't love you back he is not worth it. In fact, believe that he is. He is worth it all: the headaches, the anxiety, the embarrassment. He is worth it because, like you, he needs others loving him. This sounds funny but the world is round for a reason. We are all part of a circle. If you love him and he loves someone else, just think of whom you're hurting by loving him. It's a cycle. Whose love are you not returning?
Give yourself a chance to be in love again. Maybe you’re just too scared. Or perhaps, maybe because you had been waiting for a perfect moment, a perfect someone, and a perfect me. Maybe because you had always felt that beliefs ought to be perfect---ideal, so to speak ugh!
At the end of the day, when all is said and done, loving without being loved back is the best thing to do because feeling so much pain, you learn to heal; knowing so much fear, you learn to stand up to anything; carrying so much sadness, you learn to glorify in joy.
Lastly, this may be a cliché but there is someone who is right for you, and even if he's not, he'd still be right because loving doesn't make sense until you accept it and make it real.

"No one can ever promise you they will never hurt you, because at one time or another it will happen. The real promise is if the time you spent together will be worth the pain in the end..."

some thoughts...

Here are some comforting words from Paulo Coelho:

"And with love, there is no rules. Some may try to control their emotions and develop strategies for their behaviour; others may turn to reading books of advice from "experts" on relationship - but this is all folly. The heart decides, and what it decides is all that really matters."

"All of us have had this experience. At some point, we have each said through our tears, "I'm suffering for a love that's not worth it." We suffer because we feel we are giving more than we receive. We suffer because our love is going unrecognized. We suffer because we are unable to impose our own rules. But utimately there is no good reason for our suffering, for in every love lies the seed of our growth. The more we love, the closer we come to spiritual experience. Those who are truly enlighted, those whose souls are illuminated by love have been able to overcome all of the inbibitions and preconceptions of their era...They have been joyful - because those who love conquer the world and have no fear of loss. True love is an act of total surrender."

"One doesn't love in order to do what is good or to help or to protect someone. If we act that way, we are perceiving the other as a simple object, and we are seeing ourselves as wise and generous persons. This has nothing to do with love. To love is to be in communion with the other and to discover in that other the spark of God."

*****

How am I feeling? I must say so-so. Although I would like to let go and move on, I guess it's normal for me to feel this way. I'm sure in due time I will finally learn the art of letting go. For now, all I must do is pretend not to feel anything (which is really hard and it sucks!) and keep myself busy with other things (re: music + the internet = the perfect lonesome, boredom, and disappointment remedy).

Almost there...

Received these from e-mail a few days ago...

"Letting go of someone dear to you is hard, but holding on to
someone who doesn't even feel the same is much harder. Giving up
doesn't mean you are weak! It only means that you are strong enough
to let go!"

"Like a rose wilting and dying, so feels my heart. You trampled the
most fragile thing in my body, and didn't even know it. I thought you
felt the same as me; you smiled, touched my arm, stood up for me. My
spirits were lifted. This was the first time anyone did this, and for
a time I felt beautiful because you made me. I never wanted to leave
your side; I was afraid to lose you, but then reality hit me - you
never felt the same, I had been floating on a fake cloud. You
trampled my heart and didn't even know it."

*****

Surprisingly, these are the very thoughts I have now. I tried to assess what I'm feeling these past few days. But still, I know I have to go ahead as I planned. Things will never be the same. Am I prepared to let go? I'm getting there, I guess. In cases as inevitable as the one I'm into right now, there is really no turning back. I believe the best way to let go is to walk out the door and start anew. I will be fine, that I'm very certain of. But for now, I need to love what is right in front of me, before I could learn to start over. And when that opportunity finally comes, it'll have everything I have to offer!!!

LET GO (?)

Got this forwarded message from my graduate school friend, Kitche. Inasmuch as I would love to let go, I'm not sure if I'm ready to do that yet. But in due time, I'm sure I will.

Let it go for 2005 ...by T. D. Jakes

There are people who can walk away from you.
And hear me when I tell you this!
When people can walk away from you: let them walk.

I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you,
loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you,
staying attached to you.
I mean hang up the phone.

When people can walk away from you let them walk.
Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left.

People leave you because they are not joined to you.
And if they are not joined to you,
you can't make them stay.
Let them go.

And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person,
it just means that their part in the story is over.
And you've got to know when people's
part in your story is over so that you
don't keep trying to raise the dead.

You've got to know when it's dead.
You've got to know when it's over.
Let me tell you something.
I've got the gift of good-bye.
It's the tenth spiritual gift,
I believe in good-bye.

It's not that I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful,
and I know whatever God means for me to have
He'll give it to me.
And if it takes too much sweat I don't need it.
Stop begging people to stay.
Let them go!!

If you are holding on to something
that doesn't belong to you and was never intended for your life,
then you need to ..LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to past hurts and pains ...
LET IT GO!!!

If someone can't treat you right, love you back, and see your worth...
LET IT GO!!!

If someone has angered you ...
LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge ..
LET IT GO!!!

If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction ...
LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or
talents ..
LET IT GO!!!

If you have a bad attitude...
LET IT GO!!!

If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better...
LET IT GO!!!

If you're stuck in the past and God is trying to take you to a new
level in Him...
LET IT GO!!!

If you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship....
LET IT GO!!!

If you keep trying to help someone who won't even try to help
themselves..
LET IT GO!!!

If you're feeling depressed and stressed ....
LET IT GO!!!

If there is a particular situation that you are so used to handling
yourself and God is saying "take your hands off of it," then you need to...
LET IT GO!!!

Let the past be the past.
Forget the former things.
GOD is doing new thing for 2006 !!!
LET IT GO!!!

Get Right or Get Left .. think about it, and then
LET IT GO!!!

saved!

Funny, but I just joined a certain yahoo group last week and it's making me cry this fast. I could really relate to this one... sobra! Hope it's that easy to do.

Letting Go

Imagine this. In your hand is a very precious creation, so fragile, so valuable that if you keep on holding, it would either stay or fall apart.

But you loved this creature so much, so much that letting it go would be like letting go of your life as well. So much that sometimes you wished it would be there forever. So much that you tend to be selfish at times so as you could make it stay for
as long as you like.

Don't we all wish something "so good" could be forever? Don't we all hope that happiness is there to stay?

There comes a time in our lives when we chance upon someone "so nice" and "almost perfect" and we just find ourselves getting so intensely attracted to that person (sometimes without even
realizing it). This feeling soon become a part of our everyday lives and eventually guzzles our thoughts and actions to the extent that we tagged it as one of those "too good to be true" thing.

The sad part there is when we begin to realize that, this particular person feels totally nothing but friendship. A "thing" that would be forever a "thing" nothing more, nothing less... just a thing! You're
just a friend, and that's the fact! Then in our desperate attempt to get closer (or at least be noticed), our efforts are still futile and we end up sorry for ourselves.

One person said, never ever let your heart run your life, as much as you can, always be sensible and let your mind speak for itself. Try to listen not merely on what your feelings is invoking on you as a person but more importantly listen to reason as well.

Letting go of someone doesn't necessarily mean you have to stop loving, it only means that you allow that person to find his own happiness without expecting him to come back. Letting go is not just setting the other person free (in the real sense of it), but it is also setting yourself free from all animosity, revulsion, and resentment that was long kept in your heart.

You have to let go because the bitterness often puts away the strengths and weakens the littlest hope, making our lives more miserable than ever. Worst, presenting yourself as the "most affected one" sets the nastiest impression of all time--whatta a loser!

The trick there is...always remember that if you lose someone today, it means that someone better is coming tomorrow.

If you lose love that doesn't mean that you failed in love...right? Just regard it as another mismatch of heaven! Well, you can cry of course, or whine or shout (growl even) if you have to, but make sure that after those outbursts you have washed away the hurt and the bitterness that the past has left with you (easy said than done I know!).

We can all survive with just beautiful memories of the past but real peace and happiness come only with open acceptance of what reality is today. You really don't have to forget someone you love
('cause it's hard). What we need to learn is how to accept the verdict of reality without being bitter or sorry for what we have become. I think it's better that we give off that dedication and love to someone more deserving.

Hmmm..."Who could it be" is the next interesting question to ponder.

Let go of yesterday and love will find its way back to you. And when it does, pray hard that it may be the love that will stay and last a lifetime.

My Lullaby...

These songs are my lullaby lately.

Breakdown
Mariah Carey

You called yesterday to basically say
That you care for me but that you're just not in love
Immediately I pretended to be feeling similarly
And led you to believe I was O.K.
To just walk away from the one thing
That's unyielding and sacred to me

Chorus:
Well I guess I'm trying to be nonchalant about it
And I'm going to extremes to prove I'm fine without you
But in reality I'm slowly losing my my mind
Underneath the guise of a smile gradually I'm dying inside
Friends ask me how I feel and I lie convincingly
'Cause I don't want to reveal the fact that I'm suffering
So I wear my disguise 'til I go home at night
And turn down all the lights and then break down and cry

So what do you do when somebody you're devoted to
Suddenly just stops loving you and it seems they haven't got a clue
Of the pain that rejection is putting you through
Do you cling to your pride and sing "I will survive"
Do you lash out and say "How dare you leave me this way"
Do you hold on in vain as they just slip away

[Chorus]

Yeah, c'mon
Yeah, c'mon, c'mon
Break break down
Gotta get control
Roll roll roll along
Steady breakin' me on down
Roll roll roll along
Break break down
Gotta get control
Roll roll roll along
Steady breakin' me on down
Roll roll along

It'll break you down
Only if you let it
Everyday crucial situation wrackin' my mind
Tryin' to break me down
But I won't let it
Forget it
Forget it

I've been feelin' like you're breakin' me down
Kickin' me around
Stressin' me out
I think I better go and get out and let me
Release some stress (stress)

Don't ever wanna feel no pain (pain)
Hoping for the sun
But it looks like rain (rain, rain, rain)
Oh, i just wanna maintain

Yeah, when you feel the pressure's on
But nevertheless
Krayzie won't fall
It's over
It's endin' here, here

[Chorus]


Have You Ever?
Brandy

[Chorus] Have you ever loved somebody so much It makes you cry? Have you ever needed something so bad You can't sleep at night? Have you ever tried to find the words But they don't come out right? Have you ever, have you ever ?

Have you ever been in love Been in love so bad You'd do anything to make them understand? Have you ever had someone steal your heart away You'd give anything to make them feel the same? Have you ever searched for words
to get you in their heart But you don't know what to say And you don't know where to start?

[Chorus] Have you ever found the one You've dreamed of all of your life? You'd do just anything to look into their eyes Have you finally found the one you've given your heart to Only to find that one won't give their heart to you? Have you ever closed your eyes and Dreamed that they were there? And all you can do is wait for the day when they will care

[Chorus] What do I got to do to get you in my arms baby? What do I got to say to get to your heart To make you understand how I need you next to me? Got to get you into my world Coz baby I can't sleep… [Chorus]

Last night I'm glad I was able to relay to a good friend what has been bothering me lately . Thanks, sis! I really need some release. Feels like my head's spinning.

NEW YEAR PREDICAMENT

Never have I imagined this would happen at this point in time. I thought I have accepted my fate but I really have to go and spread my wings.

All I know is that what I feel isn't right, it won't do me any good if I really am not prepared to move on.

I feel a bit stupid, but I'm just human. I can't suppress my feelings and I find it hard to control myself.

Poor me... I can't even turn to anyone regarding this predicament of mine. They might laugh out loud and say "GAGA KA TALAGA" or "NABABALIW KA NA BA?". I'm not ready for such comments, that is why I keep it all to myself, though the situation slowly breaks my heart into pieces.

All that is left to do is leave... get away from it all as soon as possible. This is the only way I know. I should at least leave something to myself. If I continue to stay, I'm not certain if I can handle the pressure and the uncertainty. Even now, I'm not sure how much longer can I hold on.

Lord knows how I'm hurting inside...

GOODBYE and HELLO

As the new year ushers in, let me reflect on the things that happened to me so far...

Gosh, do i need to reiterate? I have been blogging my emotions for everyone to see, regardless if I receive some comments or not.

Goodbye to frustrations, bad experiences, and disapointments. I'm leaving them all behind. After all, I need not bring excess baggage to my next journey.

Hello to a new beginning, great opportunities, success in all undertakings, and hopefully a blooming love life (who knows!).

Cheers to a wonderful 2006 for all of us!!!

Christmas Season

Okay, I'm done with shopping for gifts for my family and friends. I also bought some things for myself, including a new camera phone (Nokia 6101). What now?

Surely, we can feel the Christmas season in the air, but have we stopped to realize what the true meaning of the season is? The birth of our Savior is the reason for the season, and yet people somehow ignore this fact and just let the season go by without even thanking Him for the life He gave us.

After the gift-giving and merrymaking, remember that there is Someone Who gave Himself as a gift, and Who is more than enough reason for us to be merry.

AM I A MOVIE FREAK?

I'm not a movie addict... I really am not!!! Here are just some of the films I've seen lately:

Shattered Glass - This is a true-to-life story based from the life of Stephen Glass. It turned out most of the stories he submitted to the magazine where he works as a senior writer were mostly fabrication. This film just shows us that lies won't get us anywhere.

All over the Guy - I really love this film's subtle take on homosexuality. And I love the fact that gays in other countries wouldn't have to cross-dress unlike here in the Philippines.

Spanglish - Never thought Adam Sandler could be as effective in drama as he is in comedy. This is indeed a great family film.

The Life of David Gale - This film showed how activists can be so devoted to their causes, even to the point of doing the inevitable. As usual, Kevin Spacey delivered a fine performance, so are Kate Winslet and Laura Linney.

Uptown Girls - Since I'm a Dakota Fanning fan, I decided to rent a VCD of this film. Favorite quote from her: "Act your age, not your shoe size!"

Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow - Despite the film's big stars (Jude Law, Gwyneth Paltrow, and Angelina Jolie), I find the film bland and somehow annoying. I wonder why they accepted it in the first place, and Jude Law even producing it.

Hitch - I thought this was a feel-good movie but it didn't struck me that much.

Under the Tuscan Sun - I believe Diane lane was perfect for the role. Sometimes we make spur-of-the-moment decisions that we might regret in the end. But for Diane's character, she succeeded and even made people around her just as happy as she is.

Meet the Fockers - Funny but not so hilarious. Can't compare it to Meet the Parents though since I haven't watched it.

Shall We Dance - Jennifer Lopez still hasn't brushed up on her acting. It's a good thing the film also has Richard Gere and Susan Sarandon to back her up.

My Wife is a Gangster. Very violent and intriguing, but funny altogether. Yet I enjoyed it.

What do you think? Am I a movie freak?

I'M BACK!!!

After more than a month of hiatus from blogging, here I am, still alive and kicking!

How do I feel? I feel like I’m on cloud nine right now. Everything seemed to have happen too fast.

Yesterday, I had my last day in graduate school. A few weeks ago, I was rambling with my final papers and presentations as well. Call me overconfident or whatever, but right after I prepared everything, I didn’t even bother to look at these things, or even review my notes for the final exam. In my mind all I can think of is that in a short time, it would finally be over. Goodbye to sleepless nights, and no more reading reference materials even during vacation time.

Will I miss it? I guess I will. I have been used to it for two years, and I will miss the people I have been acquainted with during those times. And even though graduate school has consumed most of my time, I still believe it is the most sensible thing I have done in my life so far, not to mention the fact that it is definitely a good investment to further my career.

Amidst the financial difficulties, self-pity (sometimes!), belittling, family problems, work-related stress, and others that I need not mention, I made it this far. Looking back, I can only smile and say that it’s all in the past.

There are people I owe this happiness and fulfillment with:

DOREN, for sticking with me through thick and thin. For understanding my craziness and tantrums, for laughing her heart out even if my jokes are sometimes corny, for letting me cry whenever I need to, thank you SIS! We’re almost there…just hang on tight.

My graduate school classmates who I have come to honestly like these past two years – MAY, LANN, NICKO, NOEMIE, CATHY, ADZ, SIR GEORGE, JON, ANGIE, KITCHE, KISSES, KHIM, and those I forgot to mention who, in one way or another, have helped me. I will never forget you guys! I hope to see you around.

PROF. MYRA OROZCO for being there especially when we need her the most. You have never failed in bringing out the best in me. I have learned so much from you and I hope that someday I can repay you, though I know you are not expecting anything in return for all the great things you have taught us.

My friends in the office – ROSE, ME-ANN, DIOSA, AND LOVELLE. Thank you all for being my friends and my critics as well. I don’t know how I will survive without you guys.

My E-TEST family – DR. LEONORA GUERRERO for the constant appreciation and motivation that she gives me at every opportunity she gets. Thanks also to ANDREW and ABBY for the support.

To YOLLY, NHOR, KUYA ERIC, WILMA, and JEM, I am grateful for the help extended every time I needed anyone of you.

Ate ANABEL, who has been a confidante and mentor as well. You have never stopped believing in me. For always reminding me to continue reaching for my dreams, thank you very much. Good luck to both of us!

To my friends both from high school and college, thank you, too! Wherever you may be, I hope you are all happy. I know we now have our own sets of friends, but the memories we shared live on. I hope you all succeed in whatever undertaking you wish to pursue.

To my family, thank you all. I know you expect too much from me and I hope I could live up to that expectations.

Lastly, to the BIG MAN up there, for having given me the strength to persevere, the courage to move on, and the will to survive. To God be the glory!

I know this is only the beginning. If I have saved enough to pay all my displacement fees, I can probably take the comprehensive exams next year, and then defend my thesis in 2007. This would be another challenge I have to face. Until then, I have all the time to rest my mind and just think how delighted I am to have finally completed my academic units toward my masters in communication management.

Thanks everyone!:)

Reminiscing and Hoping

Got another interesting tag from Debbie. It's been a while since I last posted. This required a lot of thinking for me. And honestly, I really enjoyed this.

20 years ago:
Trying to be independent because my Mom had to leave for abroad to support my schooling. It was hard since I’m a “mommy person”; I was left in the care of an aunt and my sisters, who at that time already have families of their own. I was in kindergarten then.

15 years ago:
I was in puberty stage. I remember crying when I first got a grade of 79 in my report card. What subject, you might ask? Math, of course! Started having crushes, too!

10 years ago:
I was a senior in high school. I actually dreaded my last two years in high school. It was full of hardships and disappointments; don’t even know to whom I must turn to. Experienced inferiority complex. But amidst everything, I graduated third in my batch.

5 years ago:
A month after graduating from college, I was hired as an editor for one of the top research firms worldwide. It was just a short stint but it was all worth it. Also felt like my friends are starting to drift apart, for now we have different priorities and different set of friends as well.
My mom also came back for good (after a here again-gone again contracts in different countries) but our relationship wasn’t the same as before. I must admit I am more of an aunt and sisters person now. But in my heart I appreciate all her sacrifices for me.

3 years ago:
Started working at my present job. It was fun in the beginning but as the days went by I noticed how politicking works its way here. Favoritism is another issue. After a year, I asked permission to enroll in graduate school to upgrade my qualifications and enhance my knowledge and skills in my field of endeavor. Gained more friends both at work and in school. Tried to be serious in relationships, but I’m still afraid to commit. After all, I’m still young and I need to focus on my studies more.

Last year:
Had my most unforgettable graduate school experience. I told myself never to enroll in any subject under that mean professor. Admired someone from my class, too. We became close but then I didn’t have the courage to come up to him and say my feelings. The “Maria Clara” in me overpowered my “flirt all you want” attitude. There were problems at home, too. But I’m taking things as it is.

This year:
I’m about to finish all my academic units for my master’s degree. Also thought of having my own space but my savings are not enough. Decided to stay another year in my present organization, hoping that all our requests will be granted. Besides, I can’t even demand for a higher compensation if my chosen company finds out about my meager salary at present.

Yesterday:
I was again angered by the present situation in the office. I strongly believe that we will never reach or even equal “her” present compensation. Poor EAs!!! Diosa might be right after all… she must have been her long-lost daughter!

Last Night:
Enjoyed my chocolate chip brownie as I watched the latest season of CSI (Las Vegas, that is; nothing beats the original!). As I observed, it’s getting grosser.

Today:
I hate the manuscript I’m reading today. Despite the author’s doctoral degree, his work is full of grammatical errors. Inasmuch as I liked and enjoyed my Rizal subject back in college, the one I’m handling right now makes me all the more restless and sleepy.

Tomorrow:
I hope I can do advanced reading for my Models class on Saturday. I have already prepared the downloaded material I got from the Internet so I can show it to my professor. I am to report next Saturday

5-10 years:
Hope to have my own family by this time. Hope to have settled in a fair and dynamic work environment, too. Lastly, I hope to see myself teaching part-time in some colleges, or even universities (wishful thinking, huh!).

SEVEN THINGS

Got this kind of survey from Debbie’s blog. I tried my best to fill everything. By the way Debs, there were so many common answers. Thanks!!!

Seven things that scare you:

1. public speaking
2. public humiliation
3. snakes
4. drowning
5. failure
6. rejection
7. losing a loved one

Seven things you like the most:

1. reading
2. movies
3. shoes
4. bags
5. kids
6. internet
7. tv shows (mostly foreign)

Seven important things in your room:

1. tv
2. books
3. vcd collection
4. school handouts
5. bags
6. electric fan
7. bedside lamp

Seven random facts about you:

1. I'm not snobbish like what people think I am.
2. I think being the youngest is not a privilege.
3. I think I deserve a break from time to time.
4. I'd love to have a part-time job.
5. I believe in God.
6. Being in the tertiary department is better.
7. I always run out of money.

Seven things you plan to do before you die:

1. have kids
2. of course, find a husband first!
3. finish my master's degree
4. go to australia or italy
5. have my own house
6. meet julia roberts
7. see someone i've been wanting to see for some time

Seven things you can do:

1. look for the best bargains not sacrificing quality
2. read, read, and read some more!!!
3. hold my temper
4. fight for my rights
5. answer back when i think it's already out of line
6. do my school projects, as well as my nephew's or niece's all at the same time
7. keep a secret

Seven things you can't do:

1. math
2. bake
3. html
4. drive
5. swim
6. forget 9-18-2004 (very bad graduate school experience)
7. waste time and effort on something irrelevant to my life

Seven things that attract you to the opposite sex:

1. intelligence
2. smile
3. humility
4. hygiene
5. easy to talk with
6. sense of humor
7. personality

Seven things you say the most:

1. Hello!
2. Sis!
3. The nerve!
4. Asa ka pa!
5. Talaga lang ha!
6. Yuck!
7. Anong ulam?

Seven celeb crushes (whether local or foreign):

1. Jude Law
2. Julian McMahon
3. John Cusack
4. George Clooney
5. Rob Thomas
6. Michael Buble
7. Ryan Agoncillo

REST DAYS

As promised, here's my review on Charlie and the Chocolate Factory:

Very nice film - a must-see for children of all ages. It is rarely that we find values in the movies we see nowadays, even Harry Pottershows violent scenes remember! Johnny Depp delivered an awesome performance, so did Freddie Highmore who also appeared alongside Depp in Finding Neverland.

No meeting for both my classes yesterday... RESEARCH DAY, Yipee!!! Yet I did not use the day for research (hehehe!!!) since I already have all my research materials with me (thank God!). All I did was rest, rest, and rest some more. Oh I forgot, I also tried to finish one of the Agatha Christie novel's that my officemate allowed me to borrow from her (title: THIRD GIRL). It was a typical Hercule Poirot case wherein you wouldn't realize that the murderer was just around the corner. Nevertheless, I enjoyed the book and finished it before posting this blog entry.

Nothing much to write in here I guess! No further development at work (sigh!) and even in school. That's all for now! Ciao!!!

What a week!

I had a very stressful week. Since Monday, I tried to finish my presentation for my Models class. My gosh, it was so nerve-wracking. I was to present only two models and yet I had a hard time understanding the four-page material I have with me. Up until Friday, I still don't know if I did the right thing. During the presentation, I'm glad there weren't any harsh comments, or should I say negative reactions to be exact. And what's even surprising was that we were told that that will be the basis of our mid-term grade. Tsk,tsk,tsk!!!

Still no news about the "issue" in the office. I hope it can be settled soon so we can get it out of our heads and finally move on with our lives.

Movie Review:

Fantastic Four - Great effects, hilarious scenes (especially those punchlines from the guy who played Human Torch), and oh-so-yummy Doctor Doom (played by Julian McMahon). I have been a fan of Julain since his Cole days in Charmed. I even signed for a petition to let him stay in the show. But I guess he needsto move forward since he has been associated too much with Alyssa Milano. Now he stars in Nip/Tuck. (FYI, Julian is the son of Australias ex Prime Minister.)

Bewitched - Not that good but I have always been a Nicole Kidman fan, hehehe!!!

Next week... Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

Tough road ahead

I've been so fed up lately.

At work, I have this fight over protecting my rights. It's not only about my principles but most especially about leaving some dignity to myself. I hope the next days would shed some light to my already confused mind.

At home, I still am contemplating the fact of having my own space. It's not really about asking for their permission but how they'll take my decision.

In school, thank God it's smooth sailing. Except for my Models class. What else can I expect? We're only three in the class.

Talk about a rough two weeks, huh!!!

*** RIP to my colleague, Tess. You'll be truly missed.

At last!

Very joyous day yesterday. After a month of pleading the GSASE to offer our last remaining subject, they finally gave in to our request (not to mention it will be handled by my favorite professor, yipee!). I guess sacrifice really pays off! Now all we have to do is save up for the displacement fee, which if I'm right, would amount to more than P7,000 (tsk, tsk, tsk!).

Last Thursday, while the basic education team was out for their surprise "workshop", our boss treated us to merienda of pizza and cola. It seldom happens that the five of us are left in the office. Funny coz while we're having our pizza, we continued to look around since anyone might just come up. We were giggling while eating so it was indeed a memorable event. Something we will never forget according to our boss.

That's all for now. Still on cloud 9 after the good news yesterday.

Satisfaction not guaranteed

Last week I was able to see both Mr. and Mrs. Smith and Batman Begins over the weekend. Unfortunately, it was both a disappointment.

I cannot deny the fact that I'm a fan of both Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. In my opinion, they really look good together. But the film really didn't meet my expectations. It was not that action-packed. And it was kinda "bitin" for I think it lasted for only 80 or 90 minutes.

The second film was not as good as I thought it would be. I've heard so many nice reviews about it saying it was the best so far. Christian Bale is not as effective as Michael Keaton or George Clooney. And Katie Holmes only had a few scenes.

Hope I can watch War of the Worlds next week. I don't really like films with "disaster" themes. I'm not even a fan of Tom Cruise either. I just want to see the girl named Dakota Fanning coz I'm a huge fan.

Keeping the Faith

We're still having a hard time convincing the GSASE office to open the subject Communication Theories and Models for the three of us, even if we were introduced as "graduating" students to the dean herself. Honestly, it feels good to hear the term, thought it just means we're only finishing our academic units at the moment. There is still the comprehensive exam which I plan to take in the summer of next year, and of course the dreaded defense for my thesis. I really am tired of pleading and defending our case but I am not losing hope. I really don't want to return next semester to enroll in a single subject, much more waste my time and money. And to top it all, I don't want to meet "my worst nightmare ever" for the second time!

I was frantic last night for I thought I lost my new digitized company ID. Accoding to the HRDD, a replacement would cost 500 pesos!!! Another disappointment this week... the 25-peso increase mandated by the government will not be given to us entirely, and not even on time. Damn!!!

I am so pissed off with an officemate who is acting so nosy about everything. We don't even have time to share secrets anymore for we are afraid she might hear it and spill the beans. It's as if she doesn't know the word privacy. There are stories that are only for us and yet she doesn't seem to care. I just wish she would stop acting that way.

UPDATE! UPDATE!

Finally, I have my own television set. It's a cute 10-inch NEC model (I actually never thought they have that size!). No more fighting over the remote control!. My family can watch their favorite telenovelas from now on.

After a tearful night last Friday (don't ask why!), I received a very great news yesterday. Organizational Communication will be handled by no less than my favorite professor (yipee!). And to top it all, the "terror" professor is not teaching any subject this semester (hooray!). Although it's unbelievable, I still have to wait 'til Saturday just to be sure. This is going to be a great last semester indeed. If only they'll scrap the displacement fee, I'll be the happiest girl on earth.

Cheers!

IN A RUSH by Blackstreet

it came over me in a rush
when i realized that i love you so much
that sometimes i crybut i cant tell you whywhy i feel what i feel inside
how i try to express whats been troublin' my mind
but still i cant find the wordsbut i know
that somethings got a hold of me it came over me in a rushwhen i realized
that i love you so muchthat sometimes i crybut i cant tell you why
why i feel what i feel inside
baby someday ill find a way to say just
what you mean to me
but if that day never comes along
and you dont hear this songi guess you'll never know
it came over me in a rush
when i realized that i love you so much
that sometimes i crybut i cant tell you why
why i feel what i feel infeel what i feel inside
and when i say inside i mean deepyou fill my soul
and thats something i cant explain
its over me cuz it came over me in a rush
when i realized that i love you so much
that sometimes i crybut i cant tell you whywhy i feel what i feel inside
it came over me in a rush
when i realized that i love you so much
that sometimes i crybut i cant tell you whywhy i feel what i feel inside
it came over me in a rush
when i realized that i love you so much
that sometimes i crybut i cant tell you why
why i feel what i feel inside

Heard this song on Love Notes last Friday. It's true that people come and go in our lives that we sometimes fail to notice it because they're gone in a blink of an eye. And when we finally realize that...too late!!!

Enrollment Blues

I was supposed to enroll my last two remaining subjects yesterday. Bad news is that only one of those two is offered (Sigh!). Only three of us need that subject, and I'm hoping we can convince at least five more so we can lower the displacement fee (DF) for that subject (probably around P2,000 by the end of the semester).

While waiting for another classmate, I asked myself whether I would still enroll or what, considering that a petition is more of a 50-50 chance. I even joked that the money would be better off spent at Glorietta!

But what really angered me yesterday was the new policy that all DF must be paid first before one graduate student can enroll. They are even asking for our class cards! Of course we were obviously shocked, but like other policies, we have no choice. I have five subjects with DF, with the first two already with me since I try to pay every time I have extra money. Although the class cards are all worth getting for my grades are higher than I expected (",), the money I have is only for this semester's tuition, plus I feel this new policy really sucks!
I decided to wait until next week so I can speak with my classmates first.

There are a lot to complain.
1. Is it really considered a state university?
2. Every year, tuition is up by 15% while miscellaneous is at 5%.
3. We don't have any idea where this developmental fund we pay every semester goes.
4. We spend classes in a learning center or sometimes in the dean's office as compared to those who are enrolled in a trimester basis who are able to use the graduate school building.
5. We are sold raffle tickets (compulsory!) at 500 pesos.
6. Number of students should be 20 per class, unless you agree to pay the displacement fee for the class to continue. If there are only seven students, they would share the payment for the 13 slots at the end of the semester before they can have their class cards. Last semester I attended a class of nine, and as per my computation, the DF is more or less P1,500.
7. In my nine subjects, I only had four professors (though I enjoyed the four with the same professor).

I have high regard for this institution for it is among the top ten in the country. But sometimes I wonder if my money was worth it after all this time.

BOOK REVIEW: The Da Vinci Code

I’m through reading the Da Vinci Code last Wednesday and I must say it is a very intriguing novel. Below is a brief (?) summary of it.

The book centers on the quest for the Holy Grail. But unlike the other quests, it starts with a murder scene, wherein the curator of the Louvre Museum, Jacques Sauniere, was found lifeless in one of the galleries of the said museum. What’s even more puzzling is that before he died, he wrote seemingly mysterious messages around him and positioned himself like the Vitruvian Man, as drawn by Da Vinci.

As the French police investigated the crime scene, an American symbologist by the name of Robert Langdon was called for questioning since he was supposed to meet Sauniere a few hours before he was murdered. Captain Bezu Fache was bent on arresting Langdon at that moment only he has no sufficient evidence.

Then came Sophie Neveu, a cryptologist who also works for the French police. She told Fache that the message found on the floor was nothing but a sequence in mathematics known as the Fibonacci sequence in no particular order. She believes that Langdon has nothing to do with the killing so she arranged for a secret meeting with him, where she showed Langdon a picture taken of the scene before Fache told his men to wipe clean a part of the message. Shown there were the words: “P.S. FIND ROBERT LANGDON.” Sophie strongly believes that the intently erased message was for her – P.S. for Princess Sophie, a name her grandfather used to call her when she was little. Sophie was Sauniere’s granddaughter whom he has not spoken for ten years.

Sophie and Robert are now running for their lives. After having discovered the true meaning of the messages and getting the key from the Madonna of the Rocks, they went to a Swiss bank where they used the numbers from the Fibonacci Sequence to unlock a vault containing the box Sauniere left for Sophie. The bank manager helped them escape the French police but he was terrified that the incident might ruin his bank’s reputation so he decided get the box from the two. However, Robert and Sophie were cleverer than him.

With no one else to turn, Robert decided they should go to Sir Leigh Teabing, a known Englishman who has devoted his life to finding the Holy Grail. Sophie held her breath as Robert and Leigh told her the true meaning of the Grail. The Grail was a term for Mary Magdalene, who, as the two narrated, was the wife of Jesus Christ. She was actually the last person whom Christ has instructed to lead the Catholic Church. They even had a daughter named Sarah. Because both Jesus and Mary Magdalene were both from royal descendants (contrary to the teachings of the church that Mary Magdalene was a hoar), a certain group, the Priory of Sion, was tasked to look after the safety of the woman and her child. Furthermore, Jacques Sauniere was the Grand Master of the Priory and the three other persons killed on the same night were his Senechaux. The four were the protectors of the Holy Grail. (Note: Previous masters/members of the Priory include Da Vini, Isaac Newton, and even Walt Disney)

But who is behind the murders? All four were killed by Silas, an albino taken in by the Opus Dei, which is headed by Bishop Aringarosa. The bishop taught that everything was for the greater good, as the Teacher told them. A few months back, the Vatican told Aringarosa that they would no longer support Opus Dei. Knowing this, a person called the bishop and asked him to help him look for the Holy Grail, which the voice said contained important documents that the church would not want the world to know. Talk about blackmailing here! But all four members of the Priory gave Silas a false location of the keystone, so obviously this angered the Teacher. The bishop, in everything that had happened, had never seen the Teacher. All conversations were through cellular phone.

Back to Teabing’s house, they figured out how to open the cryptex from the wooden box. Yet they were surprised to find out another cryptex inside, a smaller one that is. Unknown to them, Silas was outside the house, ready to attack the three in order to possess the cryptex. Luckily, the three was able to stop Silas. And while figuring out the password for it, they decided to go to London for the next clue. They boarded a private plane owned by Teabing, with Silas and a manservant named Remy accompanying them.

Upon reaching the Temple Church, Robert, Sophie, and Leigh found out they were in the wrong place. Meanwhile, Remy, who unfortunately works for the Teacher, untied Silas and told him to get the keystone from Sophie. Silas succeeded but he also held Teabing as hostage.

Now the only thing left with Robert and Sophie was the riddle to unlock the password for the second cryptex. They sought the help of a librarian in King’s College with materials on the Holy Grail.

Silas taught he would finally meet the teacher. But he was told to wait in the Opus Dei office in London as the car drove away. Remy is now talking to the Teacher, who is no less than Leigh Teabing! Because Remy is the only person who knew his identity, Leigh killed him by handing him a bottle of wine mixed with nuts. Poor Remy, he has an allergy with nuts!

Finally, Robert and Sophie were able to locate the right tomb, that of Isaac Newton at the Westminster Abbey. But Robert was ahead of them, only he does not know what the password is! When the three met, Robert and Sophie were obviously shocked of the revelation. Teabing said he did it because the content of the Holy Grail was supposed to be revealed by the Priory to the people at the onset of the new millennium.

Unknown to Teabing, Robert already knew the password when he decided to destroy the cryptex. After doing so, the police came and arrested Teabing.

Meanwhile, Silas was found dead in a garden. Bishop Aringarosa, on the other hand, survived the accidental gunshot from Silas.

Now Robert and Sophie stand at Rosslyn Chapel in Scotland where the last clue pointed them. They were met by a man who is a few years younger than Sophie. He turned out to be her younger brother whom he thought died in a car accident with her parents and her grandmother. Sauniere was actually leading Sophie to find her last remaining relatives. Her grandparents decided to hide the truth from them for they fear that Sophie and her brother will be the next target. Only her parents died in the accident. The most shocking revelation is that Sophie is indeed a princess, because surprisingly, both her parents were from the lineage of Plantard and Saint-Clair, Jesus’ and Mary Magdalene’s own blood. Her surname was changed in order to protect her.

Upon knowing this, Robert decided to ask Sophie’s grandmother if the Holy Grail is indeed at Rosslyn Chapel. She said it used to be but they decided to bring it to a different location for safety purpose.

At Louvre Museum, Robert stares at the floor, which, in a portion of his manuscript, speak of a somewhat tunnel leading to a hidden treasure. He knelt down and paid due respect.


The Da Vinci Code will keep you guessing ‘til the end. Not recommended for devout Catholics, though. Langdon spoke of a lot of conspiracies in the church, including the hiding of the truth, as seen in the Dead Sea scrolls. In my perspective, it does not matter if Jesus Christ was indeed married or not. The fact remains that He saved us from our sins and we should forever be thankful for that.

What I've been up to lately...

For the nth time, my PC is down again! I better save up so I can have it reformatted soon.

Still contemplating on the fact that I turned down one great job opportunity. It would have been the perfect reason to move out of our house, even for just the six months training. I have wanted to move out of our house and live by myself for quite some time. By next year, I know I will be ready for that.

Started reading the Da Vinci Code...finally! Though I am only in Chapter 18 (it has 105!) I can already sense why the said novel is such a controversial one.

Got to see the finale of the Amazing Race 7 last Thursday. Why so late? It's because the via satellite airing was shown on May 9 (9-11 AM) which is obviously prohibited time for me since I have to read manuscripts during those hours. Fortunately, one of our editors, who by the way is also an AR fanatic, sneaked in from time to time to the author's lounge where there is a television so she was able to tell us who won the race. The primetime airing, meanwhile, was divided into two parts, May 12 and 19, so my appreciation of the said finale was ideed late.
Furthermore, I must say that of all the races I've seen, Uchenna and Joyce were definitely the worthy of them all.They have never stepped on anyone during the entire race so their fellow teams prayed for them all the way. Good luck to the couple's IVF!

Kudos also to Tom Westman for winning Survivor Palau! I think Ian would have stirred the juror's vote if only he did not lay down his torch for the bitchy Katie. Anyway, the latter got what she deserve when the jurors called her names during the last tribal council.

Until next time...

Films I’ve seen lately

The Interpreter. Nicole Kidman really did a fine performance here, and so is Sean Penn. Two Oscar winners in one film equals awesome! The plot was simply on revenge and the seriousness on Nicole’s face made the movie all the more convincing. I wonder if I’ll ever see her in a comedy film in the future!

Hide and Seek. All this time I thought Dakota Fanning was the one with multiple personality disorder here (Spoiler Alert!). But I like the kid more with blonde hair. No doubt about Robert de Niro’s spectacular performance, though. For me, it’s only a semi-suspense film since it’s not that frightful as The Ring. I really hate horror movies because I have nightmares after watching.

Man on Fire. This is a film from last year yet I was only able to watch it yesterday. My sister even joked I need to have a towel ready since I might burst into tears at the end of the story. She was right, but I only found myself teary-eyed, hehehe! Can’t believe that the number of kidnappings in Mexico was that high, considering it is one of the devoted Catholic countries in the world. The film has Denzel Washington and Dakota Fanning as the lead stars.

Oh well, I’m glad I have time to watch films lately. Come June, my schedule would again be divided between school and work. But I’m happy this would be my last semester to complete my academic units to earn my master’s in communication management. I sure am going to miss my classmates, and my favorite professor as well.

The craze over “telenovelas”

It was in the mid-90s when Mexican star Thalia took the Philippines by storm through her Mexiconovela “Marimar”. I bet you all know that she is now the wife of record mogul Tommy Mottola, the ex-husband of Mariah Carey. It was then followed by other dramas starring the same star - Maria Mercedes, Maria la del Barrio, and Rosalinda. I remember myself waiting patiently in front of the TV screen just to watch the day’s episode of Marimar. I was in my freshman year in college then. And who could ever forget Betty La Fea, the ugly heroine of the drama with the same title, who married her handsome boss, Armando, at the end of the story.

A few years ago, girls went gaga over the men of F4 from Taiwan – Jerry, Vic, Vanness, and Ken. These gorgeous men were the stars of the hit drama, Meteor Garden, alongside Barbie (San Cai). They even staged a concert here in Manila, singing songs in their native language, that though Filipinos found difficult to understand, they supported the guys all the way, spending thousands of pesos just to see their favorite stars up-close.

Currently, Koreanovelas are the “in” thing here. The drama Lovers in Paris was a love triangle story of Carlo, Vivian, and Martin. It was such a hit all over Asia. There was also Save the Last Dance for Me, Full House, All About Eve. I am presently enjoying Memories of Bali and Stained Glass.

In the past, Filipino dramas dominated, as my sisters told me. Among their favorites were Flor de Luna, starring Janice de Belen, and Anna Liza, with the late Julie Vega. Of course there are still local dramas today, but the trend has shifted from the normal “teleserye” to the big-budgeted flicks like Marina, Mulawin, and the latest are Encantadia and Kampanerang Kuba.

American soap operas were also shown before via Studio 23 like Days of our Lives.

So, why do people watch these dramas? It may be to the fact that for an hour or more of their lives, they get to escape reality. I believe most people relate to these dramas – they cry with the stars whenever they are lonely, laugh with them when they are happy, and join them as they celebrate their success.

If you ask me if I like telenovelas, my answer would be “Yes, I do!” But I prefer those shown in ABS-CBN, because honestly, I’m a certified “KAPAMILYA”. In our house, it is a mortal sin to switch channels, not unless I am to watch FRIENDS, which is aired over Channel 5, or my other favorite shows which can be seen on Studio 23 (a sister station of ABS-CBN). Being a “Kapamilya” is my personal choice, so I guess I will never jump to the other side of the fence and be a “Kapuso” as long as I live (LOL!).

Reality Shows' Bite

I am so into reality shows nowadays. I love the Amazing Race, Survivor, and America's Next Top Model (ANTM).

Of the three, I love the Amazing Race the most because not only are the challenges so competitive but the countries the teams visit as well are all so spectacular (I don't think I will ever get the chance to travel to such amazing countries!). It was Amazing Race 3 that was the first to be aired in the Philippines where best friends Flo and Zach won the $1,000,000. Amazing Race 4 had a married gay couple, Reichen and Chip, finishing the race around the world. Meanwhile couple Chip and Kim conquered the Amazing Race 5, with some scenes shot in Palawan, Laguna, and Manila. Beauty queen Kendra and her beau Freddy emerged victorious in the Amazing Race 6. And the latest, the Amazing Race 7 now has only four teams - Uchenna and Joyce (with the latter agreeing to have her head shaved to win the Fast Forward in the last episode), Ron and Kelly (former POW and beauty queen, respectively), Rob and Amber (both from the Survivor show, and the latter winning Survivor All-Stars), and lastly, Meredith and Gretchen (who are now officially the oldest team to make it that far). I would love to see Uchenna and Joyce win, or Rob and Amber. Rob may be conniving but he's got the best strategy I've seen so far, and although teams honestly don't like them to win, I think he's getting better as the competition progresses.

Before, I wasn't really a Survivor fan. The first one I religiously followed was Survivor Amazon where my bet, swimsuit model Jenna Morasca won. Then followed Survivor Pearl Islands where Sandra Twine, the woman most likely not to make it 'til the end, took home the million dollars. Then there's the Survivor All-Stars where former contestants (both winners and nonwinners) again battled it out for the prize money. Of course, the nonwinners made sure that the "Sole Survivors" were voted out as early as possible, with an exception for Jenna since she quit the game mid-way to be with her cancer-stricken mother who died a week after she left the show. As stated earlier, Amber Brkich won here, with a little help from Rob Mariano. They are now engaged (as if the whole world doesn’t know already!). Survivor Vanauatu had the girls conquering almost the entire 39 days because of their alliance from the very beginning, but it was a guy named Chris Daugherty who the jurors voted for. And for the ongoing Survivor Palau, I am gunning for Stephenie or Ian, but I am not sure the remaining five will let the former stay because she is so good with challenges, and she is actually the only one left standing from her former tribe (Ulong) which led to an early merge.

ANTM is the only show I was able to watch from the very start. Unfortunately, as my friend Debbie told me, they are now seeing Cycle 4 in the States when Cycle 3 just piloted here a month ago. Anyway, I love both winners of Cycles 1 and 2, Adrianne and Yoanna, but I still am yet to convince myself that Eva deserved her win in Cycle 3.

At work, most of my officemates are American Idol fanatics so I cannot really relate to them while they talk of Anwar or Constantine. Anyway, they're all wishing for the latter to win.

Reality shows have definitely made TV viewing pleasurable and a looking-forward-to event for viewers around the world. As for me, I’m enjoying every minute of it since local shows have become so boring!

READING as a habit

"Every man who knows how to read and has in his power to magnify himself, to multiply the ways in which he exists, to make his life full, significant, and interesting."

- Aldous Huxley

It was not until high school that I have come to love reading. In all humility, I can say that I had no trouble with understanding the English language even as a kid, not unless we talk about mathematics...hahaha!!!

I started with reading broadsheets and fashion magazines. I would also borrow Sweet Dreams pocketbooks from some of my friends.

In college I started collecting American novels. The first book I bought was Pudd'nhead Wilson by Mark Twain. At present, I have 15 already, most of which are by Edith Wharton. Other titles are by Thomas Hardy, Daniel Defoe, Louisa May Alcott, Nathaniel Hawthorne, D.H. Lawrence, and others. Of course, I have some by my favorite writer, Isabel Allende.

And because my job calls for it, I have no choice but to read for more than 8 hours, 5x a week. But I do love what I read nowadays! Since I now belong to the tertiary department, I now read more advanced lessons from different subject areas. I have just finished the English series and am still trying to concentrate with the three Economics manuscripts which are really nerve-wracking. Tomorrow, I will begin reading the History of Education, Parts I and II.

I have also become attentive to details because of reading. For my first job, I worked as an Editor for AC Nielsen, an international research firm. Unfortunately I was not assigned to their Media section. I edited worksheets for the Retail Measurement Services Division. Then I went to become an Editor at St. Bernadette Publications where I mostly handled journals of different subject areas. My next job was as an Editorial Assistant for JOBFinder Publishing (Re: This is not a demotion because the job calls for an entirely different thing) where my writing skills were further honed. There I was given the chance to write job-related articles and interview TV personalities.

Now I work as an Editorial Assistant for Rex Printing Company. Here I get to read, read, and read!!! On top of it all, I try to squeeze in my 48-hour weekly work schedule for only five days since I still have to attend my classes every Saturday. That is how hectic my schedule is! For my school projects, I also have to read tons of references and even Internet materials.

Reading has become not only a vital part of my profession but a habit as well. It gives me the chance to be a part of different eras and it opens my eyes to lots of possibilities. And honestly, I would not trade it for anything in this world.

BZD (Birthdays, Zoe, and Dakota)

Last Saturday, I went to see my former officemates from St. Bernadette. The get-together coincided with the 3rd birthday of Ate Amy's only daughter, Ally. Ally's complete name is Gabrielle Allende, named after her mom's (and mine, too) favorite author Isabel Allende and her nickname is from Ally Macbeal (played by Calista Flockhart) which we both loved also. Another thing is that Ally was born on the same day as my mom, but this year they decided to celebrate it a day early. Good thing I didn't buy her a dress for my gift since she has grown so big from the last time I saw her (I think that was two years ago). She was so skinny back then and obviously so fragile. It's nice to see her running around and I even joined her inside the hotel room's closet which she said was her elevator and we're off to Shoe Mart. At such a young age, she could think of silly things which can make you laugh 'til you drop. By the way, her birthday was held at Citadel Inn at Makati Avenue. Ate Amy said she wanted it that way coz she didn't want to bother herself anymore with regard to the cleaning up before and after the party.

Back to the get-together! It has been three years since we parted ways. We were all working as Editors at St. Bernadette before. I have moved on to two companies, my latest being a publishing house also. Ate Lei is now a grade school teacher teaching English subjects. She attended the party with her husband, Rob and her two kids Edelweiss and Raven. Meanwhile, Ate Amy has resigned from St. Bernadette last month (thank God!) and is now working at a regional office of the United Nations here in the Philippines. We have met lots of people along the way but our friendship remains.

Yesterday, we celebrated my mom's 62nd birthday. It was just a simple gathering with our close relatives as guests.

During this 2-day vacation, I also got to watch The Final Cut (finally!). It gives me the chills to think that such a powerful microchip could be invented in the future! The film centers on Alan Hackman (played by Robin Williams), the best Zoe cutter in town. Zoe is a chip placed inside a person's head from birth and it records your memory (both good and bad) until you die. After that, the Zoe chip is edited (bad memories deleted, of course) and a "Rememory" is played at the funeral of the chip's owner. While editing the chip of a very powerful man (and a very bad man since he molested his own daughter among many other things), he saw a person which reminded him of his past. As a kid, Alan felt responsible for the death of his playmate when it fell from a construction site. While rummaging through files, he discovered that he himself has a Zoe chip inside him (one of the no-nos as a Zoe cutter) and his parents was not able to tell him for they died before he reached 21, the right age to tell the Zoe owner of his condition. Meanwhile, the kid that fell actually didn't die during that accident and what Alan stepped on was red paint and not the kid's blood. In the end, Alan was relieved of the memory that has haunted him ever since but he was killed by a guy who was after a chip he has. It turned out that the chip was destroyed so the only chip they have is that of Alan's, which when compared to all chips, is the most powerful of them all since it has seen chips of countless people... unedited!!! This film again showed Williams' versatility as an actor. It was a nice follow-up to One Hour Photo.

Two films I got to see - Hide and Seek (with Robert de Niro and Dakota Fanning) and Miss Congeniality 2. I love Dakota, especially in I am Sam (just bought a copy of the said film last Saturday as addition to my collection). She has such an expressive face, that it can stand alone even without dialogue. I still can forget the episode where she guested in CSI. The Inquirer had a nice review of Hide and Seek yesterday so I kinda had an idea about the film already.

So long...

GS Experiences

Yesterday was my last day in graduate school for this semester. I have now officially earned 27 units, only six units left to complete my academic requirements. The problem is I might have the said subjects, Organizational Communication and Communication Models and Theories, under the so-called "terror" professor that I met two semesters ago. Honestly, I still feel traumatized because of what she did to me and my group. I just hope we'll find a way to have amother professor take over one of the aforementioned subjects, or both if we are damn lucky. We heard that there was a time when she went to the States for a vacation and another professor handled her subjects. I'm keeping my fingers crossed!!!

So far, all my subjects this semester were great. The first two, Communication Research and Statistics and Communication Management Consultancy, were both toxic and very time-consuming. I had to go to different libraries and spend sleepless nights for the first one just to be able to come up with the Chapters I-III of my research. The second one, which is somehow a practicum course, had me spending even my vacation at my chosen organization.

Moreover, my last subject, Corporate Communication, was so far the most intriguing subject I had in my entire stay at PLM. We had this classmate telling our professor that she was offended by her, and when the latter asked her how she did that, the poor girl cannot even define what "offended" means. There were other funny incidents but I'd rather not post it anymore.

I can say that this semester was the best I had so far. It was not all about the pressures and the mocking that I had in the previous ones. I am glad that somewhere along the way I was able to find inspiration, and it was only this semester that I was able to tell someone of the "secret" I have been keeping to myself since my first semester.

I say good luck to my classmates who will be taking their comprehensive examination in May. I know you guys can make it...

NINA Live!

A week ago, Warner Music Philippines launched in the market Nina's latest album, NINA Live! It's a compilation of Nina's live performances, mostly her rendition of songs by foreign artists. I saw it last week when I went at Odyssey and I told myself I'll buy a copy one of these days. To my surprise, the said album was awarded a Gold record award last Sunday at ASAP after only a few days in record bars.

This morning, an officemate of mine lent me her copy so I can include it in my iTunes list. Most of my favorite songs are in it like "Fall for You" by Shanice, "Constantly" by Vanessa Williams, "Love Moves in Mysterious Ways" by Julia Fordham, "Through the Fire" by Chaka Khan, and the cry-to-death "I Love You, Goodbye".

I have always been a Nina fan, although I have never seen her perform live (Sigh!). Her first album was a blast - I love the songs Jealous and Second Floor. I also love the song "I Don't Wanna be Your Friend". I hope I could see her perform someday. For now, I'll just listen to what I've got on my iTunes, which by the way already has 156 songs, including hits from The Corrs, John Mayer, Michael Buble, Josh Groban, and some R&B songs I often hear from Wave 89.1 and movie soundtracks, too!

Guess I'm sane again, huh! Enough of those sentimental entries for the moment...

“Things happen. People change.”

“Things happen. People change.”

- Julia Roberts, Mona Lisa Smile

It’s not always easy to accept things as it happen, especially when you least expect it. Of course, the road we’ll be taking may be rocky at times, but who cares? Sometimes we just have to look back and see how far we’ve come.

Things happen…

I remember myself praying a few months back for the Lord to help me get to know this guy a little more, without having to throw myself on him. And so it happened. We began to exchange messages and got close in a civil kind of way.

Weeks passed and I found myself falling for him more. When I tried to read my journal, I saw entries telling how much I miss him and how I should control myself before I get smitten by him completely. Now I ask myself, did I succeed in doing so? I don’t think so!

A few days ago, I again said my prayers to the Lord. This time, I asked for a sign whether I should stop this craziness of mine or not.

That same day, I sent him a message in commemoration of the season. There was no reply whatsoever. I assume that was the sign I was waiting for. It was not typical of him not to reply to any message I send him. A simple “thank you” would do. I guess that was the end of it all.

I don’t know if I’ll ever see him again. It has been a month since I last saw him. It’s back to reality for me, and that I’m sure of.

Now my prayer would be that the Lord would help me get him off my mind in the soonest time possible. So if by any chance I see him again, I can tell myself: “Hey girl, that was the guy you used to like a lot!” and then turn back and smile. For after all, he made me happy even for just a while.

Things have happened. And yet I still am ready to face others that may come.

People change…

Last Thursday, I got to watch “Mila” starring Maricel Soriano. It was the story of a teacher’s struggle through life. It reminded me of “Munting Tinig” and “Mona Lisa Smile” in some ways, one of which is because all of them had a teacher in the lead role.

When I was having a hard time finding employment a few years back, my eldest sister would often tell me, “You should have taken Education instead.” Honestly, I can’t blame her for saying that. I have two cousins who are successful in their chosen fields, the first one having just finished his master’s degree and the other one is a fulfilled teacher of English subjects in high school. Another one is about to take her licensure examination. Talk about teachers in my family, huh!

And before I forget, I am also surrounded in the office by educators of all sorts: holders of masteral and doctoral degrees, Fulbright and Monbusho scholars, and awardees of the Metrobank Foundation.

It has always been my dream to teach – in the tertiary level in particular. But now, it doesn’t matter anymore. What’s more important is that I want to touch lives and make a difference in this world.

So, have I changed? I believe I have.

The first most-awaited vacation of the year is here (the second one is Christmas vacation, of course!). I just wish people would take time to reflect this season and not just go somewhere else to relax and unwind. As for me, I'm taking advantage of this. I might have a Julia marathon tomorrow! I'm almost done with Daughter of Fortune. I was supposed to bring home the Da Vinci Code but one of my officemates has it so I might read Tess of D'Urbervilles next.

Hey guys, enjoy your vacation!!!

Messages, Good Buys, and Jude Law...

"No matter what people say to you, it will not hurt, unless you allow it!"

"If people are trying to pull you down, be proud about it. It just means one thing... you are above them!"

These two messages have been my guidance lately. The first one was from a friend since high school. She wrote it down on an index card and gave it to me when I was so down and needed some cheering up that people around me failed to give.

The second was a text message from an officemate. We both have been so fed up lately with negative vibrations that sometimes we want to scream aloud to air our grievances.

Yesterday, after a tip from an officemate, I went to Odyssey Music Store to splurge on some VCDs. Gosh, I bought five Julia Roberts' films for only P400, and that's really a great deal. I have been waiting for so long for this opportunity
that though yesterday was not really a great time since I don't have a budget for such a splurge, I found myself withdrawing at the nearest ATM. There goes my savings last payday!!! I got the following for P75 each: Mona Lisa Smile, America's Sweethearts, My Best Friend's Wedding, and Pretty Woman (Director's Cut). Meanwhile, Notting Hill was priced at P100. And FYI, all are original, with VRB seal in all of them.

This morning, before attending the christening of my sixth godchild, Aaron Keene, who by the way is such an adorable little angel, I watched Alfie. It was so hilarious, especially because seldom do we see Jude Law speaking to us viewers as if we're friends. He's so irresistibly "yummy" onscreen. It was in the film GATTACA (with estranged couple Ethan Hawke and Uma Thurman) that I first noticed his charm. I didn't like him that much in CLOSER because he had some shots when he looked so haggard, although COLD MOUNTAIN was an exception since he played the role of a soldier there. Hope to see more of him in the future.

Last night, I saw First Daughter starring Katie Holmes. It has a too common plot that I almost fell asleep while watching.

Until next time...

Of books, films, and appreciated efforts

Like OF LOVE AND SHADOWS and EVA LUNA, Isabel Allende’s DAUGHTER OF FORTUNE has once again captured me with its vivid portrayal of characters. True to her style, Allende started the novel with the main character, Eliza Sommers, opening her past to the readers. Left outside the house of the Sommer’s in Chile, Eliza was adopted by Rose, a spinster and her two elder brothers, and was brought up to live a life of elegance under the English tradition. I am so engrossed with this book that no matter how tired I am at night, I can’t help myself but read a chapter or two before I sleep. I hope I can finish reading it before the Holy Week vacation ends. Then I can start with Tess of D’Urbervilles which I bought more than a year ago!

The Notebook was really a tearjerker, just like A Walk to Remember. This weekend, I plan to watch Jude Law’s Alfie and Robin Williams’ The Final Cut. I’ll post my reactions about the said films next week.

I felt proud of myself today. I was told that one author liked the way I edited his manuscript. All this time, I taught he will not give in to my suggestions and he will stand by his old references. But I was surprised to see an entire chapter deleted from his book. Maybe he does not want to do research anymore to update the said chapter. But I’m glad he did it, because if not, I don’t think his book will make it to the set deadline. I really am delighted to be with the tertiary department now. In my almost three years with the company, this is the first time my efforts have been appreciated, and it really feels good.

Had the day to rest. I needed this for so long. However, I really intended to finish my research paper for my corporate communication class. And yes, I was able to finish it, only to find out that the submission was moved to April 2. Damn! But at least I can rest my mind now and stop thinking about school projects.

Yesterday, the "salary standardization" scheme was again opened up in the office. Oh well, what's new? I just hope they'd be true to their words and practice one of their corporate values - "WORD OF HONOR".

Saw BRIDGET jONES: THE EDGE OF REASON a while ago. It wasn't that nice as the first one but I loved the ending.

Until my next blog...

reasons to be happy about...

1. I did well in both my presentations last Saturday (or at least that's what I'm thinking of!). Two entries from my framework were questioned, yet I was told it is a feasible study. For my communication plan, it was like a time-bound thing! Although it was already time for us to wrap things up, I insisted on presenting it, after all I already have my materials with me.

2. A good friend of mine, who's presently with the basic education team, would be joining me soon in the tertiary department. This we found out just this morning. Hooray to you, friend! I wonder what the people around are thinking!!! As for me, I'm glad about this news. God indeed answers our prayers... we just have to be patient!

3. After a year or so, I'm now back into pocketbook reading. Gosh, I have 5 titles on my bedside right now, and still waiting for the Da Vinci Code and the Agatha Christie series from one of my officemates. I promise not to tire my eyes too much. I don't want to have another case of severe conjunctivitis that I had 3 years ago when my eyes' nerves kinda "exploded". Right now, I'm reading Isabel Allende's Daughter of Fortune. I read 10 pages last night and I hope to read more tonight.

4. Do I have something to be "kilig" about? In a way, I guess! But amidst everything, I'm really gonna miss him. Sigh!!!

multiple intelligences

What MI do you have? Mine is linguistic intelligence!

Your Dominant Intelligence is Linguistic Intelligence

http://www.quizdiva.net/bt/linguistic.jpg">>You are excellent with words and language. You explain yourself well.An elegant speaker, you can converse well with anyone on the fly.You are also good at remembering information and convicing someone of your point of view.A master of creative phrasing and unique words, you enjoy expanding your vocabulary. You would make a fantastic poet, journalist, writer, teacher, lawyer, politician, or translator.

Kind of Intelligence Do You Have?